May 18, 2024
How to judge value
A father and his 6 year-old son attended a horse auction.
The father decided to check out a horse prior to bidding.
The father ran his hands up and down the horse's legs,
face, and rump. The little boy asked, "Dad, what are you
doing?"
The father replied, "I'm interested in buying this horse
and I'm checking it out."
The little boy's eyes became as big as saucers and he
blurted out, "Dad, we have to go home now!"
The father was puzzled and asked him, "Why do we have to
go home right this minute?"
The boy replied, "Because, the UPS man was there yesterday
and I think he wants to buy Mom!"
A comedian is sitting at the bar of a comedy club late one
night when a beautiful woman comes up to him and says, "I
saw you perform tonight, and you're the funniest guy I've
ever seen. I want to take you home and give you the night
of your dreams."
The comedian looks at her and says, "Did you see the first
show or the second show?"
Back in my working days I was a union linotype operator in a
daily newspaper on Cape Cod. Our employment required 6 years
of apprenticeship prior to receiving a journeyman's
credentials. We were required to be proficient in English,
particularly spelling and meaning of words, among others.
One day a fellow worker while setting a story came across the
word, "butte" and asked his co-worker the difference between
a butte, mountain or mesa, etc. A discussion arose amongst
several of us and the comparison was made as well of canyons,
escarpmets, bluffs. etc.
Someone suggested we ask Jeannie, one of our proofreaders to
settle the question. Well, Jeannie was what one might say a
worldly lady, and when approached by our representative with:
"Hey, Jeannie, what's a butte?"
She promptly replied: "Offhand, I'd say, one about this
long;" signifying a distance of about 8 inches with her hands.